So I was just mopping the floor and this thought came out of no where: "You either have to change your theology or your attitude." More revelation continued to come...
"You say you believe I am ALWAYS good and relentlessly kind. Yet, when you look around and things you want aren't happening on your time, you complain, and you question. You question my motives and you rise up with a entitlement attitude."
OOPS! ...(insert repentance)
"Either I am relentlessly kind or extremely cruel. Either I am giving you the best possible situation right now or I am holding out on you. Change your attitude or your theology."
Yeah, that was my mid morning revelation.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Intimacy and Trust
The truth is it is difficult to believe for what we cannot see, for the thing we have no physical evidence for, unless you know and trust the person in charge, and that's what it really comes down to. We all want to believe that we trust the Lord but the truth is when we are tested, we so tempted with doubt and the questions plague our mind. "Lord, what are you doing?" "Lord, I thought I heard you say ___." "Lord, what about the dreams in my heart, when O Lord?" We are tempted to believe the age old lie that the serpent told Eve in the garden, "God is holding out on you." We knows it's a lie, but it's how we feel. So what do we do?
It comes down to two things...Intimacy and trust. The test will reveal where you're at in these two areas. Intimacy precedes trust, and trust is the key. The truth is most of us don't know and trust the Lord on the kind of level we would like to think. The good news is that's the whole point He sent Jesus, so that we could know Him and trust Him, so relationship could be restored. God doesn't fail. He can't fail and He can't lie. He purposely puts desires in us from Him, so He can come through for us. But He wont come through on our time at the cost of losing intimacy with us. After all His love is a Jealous and all consuming Love.
This past Friday night someone prayed something over me that wrecked me. Something I haven't ever heard in my thirteen years of being a believer. They said "God doesn't have an agenda with you, He is not trying to fix you. He just wants you." Those words hit me hard! So many times through times of testing I think "oh, God is disciplining me or trying to make me better at ________." Truth is, God just wants me. He just wants you. He desires relationships with sons and daughters, not slaves. He desires friendship & intimacy, not good law abiding people. He desires a love relationship of seeking and finding, pursuing and responding, of giving and receiving. That is what the Lord is after. I don't care what season you are in, this is true for you. It is about knowing Him and trusting Him. Trust isn't easy, it is built and earned. Good news is God has a great track record, He is the most loyal and trustworthy person on the planet and He never fails. He proved it at the cross.
Make a choice. Choose intimacy with Jesus. Choose to embrace the season your in instead of questioning His motives. He has pure motives. No agenda. You are not being punished or forgotten. God is in a good mood. God is including you in His plan. God is pursuing you. Receive it and respond.
It comes down to two things...Intimacy and trust. The test will reveal where you're at in these two areas. Intimacy precedes trust, and trust is the key. The truth is most of us don't know and trust the Lord on the kind of level we would like to think. The good news is that's the whole point He sent Jesus, so that we could know Him and trust Him, so relationship could be restored. God doesn't fail. He can't fail and He can't lie. He purposely puts desires in us from Him, so He can come through for us. But He wont come through on our time at the cost of losing intimacy with us. After all His love is a Jealous and all consuming Love.
This past Friday night someone prayed something over me that wrecked me. Something I haven't ever heard in my thirteen years of being a believer. They said "God doesn't have an agenda with you, He is not trying to fix you. He just wants you." Those words hit me hard! So many times through times of testing I think "oh, God is disciplining me or trying to make me better at ________." Truth is, God just wants me. He just wants you. He desires relationships with sons and daughters, not slaves. He desires friendship & intimacy, not good law abiding people. He desires a love relationship of seeking and finding, pursuing and responding, of giving and receiving. That is what the Lord is after. I don't care what season you are in, this is true for you. It is about knowing Him and trusting Him. Trust isn't easy, it is built and earned. Good news is God has a great track record, He is the most loyal and trustworthy person on the planet and He never fails. He proved it at the cross.
Make a choice. Choose intimacy with Jesus. Choose to embrace the season your in instead of questioning His motives. He has pure motives. No agenda. You are not being punished or forgotten. God is in a good mood. God is including you in His plan. God is pursuing you. Receive it and respond.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
His Promise
Jeremiah 29:13
"When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you"—God's Decree—"bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it."
Today as I sat at the waterfalls in Asheville, NC. I took in the beautiful sunshine, the cold water on my feet, and the sound of rushing waters around me. I thought of how the voice of the Lord is as the sound of many waters and Oh how I longed to hear His voice. I was watching the Brunson boys splash and have the time of their lives in the water and was pondering life. I began to hear a few men speaking in a different language and I looked up. It sounds strange but it felt like home to me hearing them speak. I thought of how much I love cultures, languages, and all types of people. Then I watched as a Father and Son left their fellow family member and went to a different spot. The young boy sat on a rock in his swimsuit and with a huge smile on his face watched Reilly and Jake play. I could feel the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart. I moved closer to him climbing a few rocks. I was scared to talk to him but the Lord's voice was so strong, so I laid out my fleece. "Lord, let him look at me and I'll speak to him." He did, and I said "Where are you from?" He replied, "Israel." We excitement I told him my sister was in Israel and began a conversation. I told him I heard his family speaking another language and was curious where they were from. He replied that they were speaking Hebrew. I just grinned from ear to ear and we went back and forth for a few minutes asking/answering questions. He asked if my friend who had lived in Israel for 2 years was Jewish and I said no, but she LOVES the Jewish people and so do I. He looked a bit confused but just nodded. He was on vacation in the U.S. with his family traveling and sight seeing. I just felt such joy and love in my heart for this boy, I cannot explain it. It was instant the moment I saw him, I could feel the compassion of Christ. I told him that I would like to visit his country and he looked at me with the sincerest look and smile on his face and replied, "You are welcome!"
I cannot explain what this did for my heart. God has been speaking to me so much about living missionally and I've been praying about what that looks like. I thought, this was God ordained! I cannot go to the nations right now, so He brings them to me! It was beautiful and a moment I will never forget.
I think this verse in Jeremiah is perfect. It is what God is saying in my own life as well as all the nations of the earth. The Lord is drawing us to come after HIm with a promise attached to it...He is will turn things around, that we can count on!
"When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you"—God's Decree—"bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it."
Today as I sat at the waterfalls in Asheville, NC. I took in the beautiful sunshine, the cold water on my feet, and the sound of rushing waters around me. I thought of how the voice of the Lord is as the sound of many waters and Oh how I longed to hear His voice. I was watching the Brunson boys splash and have the time of their lives in the water and was pondering life. I began to hear a few men speaking in a different language and I looked up. It sounds strange but it felt like home to me hearing them speak. I thought of how much I love cultures, languages, and all types of people. Then I watched as a Father and Son left their fellow family member and went to a different spot. The young boy sat on a rock in his swimsuit and with a huge smile on his face watched Reilly and Jake play. I could feel the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart. I moved closer to him climbing a few rocks. I was scared to talk to him but the Lord's voice was so strong, so I laid out my fleece. "Lord, let him look at me and I'll speak to him." He did, and I said "Where are you from?" He replied, "Israel." We excitement I told him my sister was in Israel and began a conversation. I told him I heard his family speaking another language and was curious where they were from. He replied that they were speaking Hebrew. I just grinned from ear to ear and we went back and forth for a few minutes asking/answering questions. He asked if my friend who had lived in Israel for 2 years was Jewish and I said no, but she LOVES the Jewish people and so do I. He looked a bit confused but just nodded. He was on vacation in the U.S. with his family traveling and sight seeing. I just felt such joy and love in my heart for this boy, I cannot explain it. It was instant the moment I saw him, I could feel the compassion of Christ. I told him that I would like to visit his country and he looked at me with the sincerest look and smile on his face and replied, "You are welcome!"
I cannot explain what this did for my heart. God has been speaking to me so much about living missionally and I've been praying about what that looks like. I thought, this was God ordained! I cannot go to the nations right now, so He brings them to me! It was beautiful and a moment I will never forget.
I think this verse in Jeremiah is perfect. It is what God is saying in my own life as well as all the nations of the earth. The Lord is drawing us to come after HIm with a promise attached to it...He is will turn things around, that we can count on!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Let me be like the Windmill
Change. The transition before change is being felt everywhere. Can you feel it? The Church is talking about it, the world is talking about, even the weather is talking about it. Have you ever noticed the Lord will use the natural to parallel the supernatural? He does it in my life all the time. I can feel the weather began to shift..the wind feels different, the sun is producing less heat, change is near.
The Lord prompted me yesterday to read an excerpt from the book "Seeing Spots and Other Visions." It's a book my Nemaw gave me many many years ago. There is one particular vision Thelma had that has stuck in my mind. She saw a ball hanging from a string. The Holy Spirit began to blow on it and it went the opposite way. Then He went to the other side and blew on the other side and it went the other way. She said the Lord spoke to her and said He wanted her to be so sensitive to the moving and prompting of His Spirit, even in the slightest degree. I believe I am in a time of transition and it is KEY that I am sensitive to the Spirit. I believe the Body of Christ is in a time of transition as well. We must heed His voice in this time. If He says give, give. If He says quit your job, quit your job. If He says pray, pray. If He says fast, fast. We must heed His voice. He is speaking.
May His Spirit be like the wind and may we be like the windmill that moves when the Spirit moves. amen.
Ezekiel 2:2 (The MSG)
The moment I heard the voice, the Spirit entered me and put me on my feet. As he spoke to me, I listened.
Friday, April 15, 2011
You and Me Walk On
In less than a month, I will start a new chapter of my life. I will officially be a "Post Grad." I never thought the day would come. It will be like a bird who has been in a cage for 4 years finally being freed! A bit dramatic, I know. I am excited though. The possibilities are endless but currently the opportunities are few. I have really been wrestling with "desire." What does it really mean to have desires and do they really matter when God has a will, a perfect will? We often quote the verse in Psalm 34, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." For the past 3 years, I have been seeking the Lord about what that means. We all have desires but will the Lord really give us a desire that He doesn't have for us and would we want him to anyway? So the process begins: applying for jobs, deciding where to live (and with whom), scurrying my way through finals, praying, seeking, waiting. It's exciting but also a jump of faith that includes uncertainty of the landing!
"Safe? Who said anything about safe? He's not safe, but He's good."
"Safe? Who said anything about safe? He's not safe, but He's good."
Saturday, March 19, 2011
I wanna be a songbird
Today I asked Jesus and He helped me find my passport! I was grateful as I pulled it from its envelope and held it close to me..it made me long to travel. I constantly have this longing but something about holding my passport made it more tangible today. It felt somehow closer. I was made for more than this. Don't get me wrong, I have a great life, a beautiful family, Church, and friends, etc. Yet, somehow I feel stuck and held back where I am, like a bird waiting to be freed from her cage. It is time to fly, to soar onto new things. It is never easy to leave. To leave behind the comfortable life you've always known..but I can never be happy settling for less than God's will for me. It's time to fly!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
How you view God will affect the way you interpret Scripture.
By nature, I fear authority, I always have. I would rarely push my luck with standing up or against any kind of authority growing up. I ultimately feared the authority of God the most. I honestly loved Jesus and wanted to obey Him but I can't lie, there was some fear there of what would happen if I didn't. One of my Dad's favorite phrases was: "You can choose you sin, but you can't choose your consequences." Even though it is a true statement, it always invoked fear into me. When I did mess up I thought "What will happen to me?" It was this agonizing waiting of the "consequence." So when I read passages like John 5, I was disturbed.
"Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, “See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.” -John 5:14
This is not the most cheerful verse. When I think about Jesus, the Lord of the universe coming up to me and saying "Do not sin anymore or something worse than what I healed you from will happen to you!" I would have to go be a nun. I always wondered what that man thought to himself? And what do we as believers do with this verse? We know that the chances of us making it even a day without sinning is not good. So was Jesus rebuking a SPECIFIC sin? If so, what in the world was it, so we can avoid this "worse thing coming upon us?" Or was it more general? Like, don't be addicted to a sin, you can do it once but more than once and the "worse thing" will happen? Christian or not, all of us have addictions. Whether it be the way we talk, what we eat, or watch, the list goes on. So what do we do? Are we disqualified? These are the kind of questions that went through my mind as I have read this passage. I'm just being honest. I believe we as Christians need to deal with these "tough" passages and ask the Lord to show us the truth.
So a month or so ago, I was wallowing in self-pity. I heard the Lord quote to me a different verse in this passage “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” When I heard it in my spirit, it was not said in a sweet gentle way. It was said in an authoritative, matter-of-fact, you WILL do it, kind of way! It startled me when I heard it, but I heard the Lord say afterward. Quit lying there when I've given you all that you need to get up. This morning, I heard the Lord quote "Go and sin no more!" When I looked it up I realized it was the SAME passage as the verse He gave me about a month ago. Again, I heard an authoritative voice and I reverted back to the famous quote "you can choose your sin, but you can't choose your consequences." the Lord said: NO, I said that with authority to the man BECAUSE I was setting Him free to do what he could not do for himself. Jesus was not putting a legalistic law on this healed man and heaping judgment on him. It was both a warning but it was a freeing statement of authority to GO and live what Jesus had just FREELY given him. Jesus was fully aware of the mans sins and imperfections and He was setting him free and telling him not to squander his freedom or something worse would happen. It reminded me of a Scripture in
Romans 6:15
What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!
We should have the fear of the Lord but the fear of the Lord is not the same as FEAR. It is a reverence, awe, and respect not a trembling terror of dispair. When we read Scripture we must look at through the lens of God's character throughout His word as a whole and not pick out Scriptures or we won't see what He is trying to say!
"Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, “See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.” -John 5:14
This is not the most cheerful verse. When I think about Jesus, the Lord of the universe coming up to me and saying "Do not sin anymore or something worse than what I healed you from will happen to you!" I would have to go be a nun. I always wondered what that man thought to himself? And what do we as believers do with this verse? We know that the chances of us making it even a day without sinning is not good. So was Jesus rebuking a SPECIFIC sin? If so, what in the world was it, so we can avoid this "worse thing coming upon us?" Or was it more general? Like, don't be addicted to a sin, you can do it once but more than once and the "worse thing" will happen? Christian or not, all of us have addictions. Whether it be the way we talk, what we eat, or watch, the list goes on. So what do we do? Are we disqualified? These are the kind of questions that went through my mind as I have read this passage. I'm just being honest. I believe we as Christians need to deal with these "tough" passages and ask the Lord to show us the truth.
So a month or so ago, I was wallowing in self-pity. I heard the Lord quote to me a different verse in this passage “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” When I heard it in my spirit, it was not said in a sweet gentle way. It was said in an authoritative, matter-of-fact, you WILL do it, kind of way! It startled me when I heard it, but I heard the Lord say afterward. Quit lying there when I've given you all that you need to get up. This morning, I heard the Lord quote "Go and sin no more!" When I looked it up I realized it was the SAME passage as the verse He gave me about a month ago. Again, I heard an authoritative voice and I reverted back to the famous quote "you can choose your sin, but you can't choose your consequences." the Lord said: NO, I said that with authority to the man BECAUSE I was setting Him free to do what he could not do for himself. Jesus was not putting a legalistic law on this healed man and heaping judgment on him. It was both a warning but it was a freeing statement of authority to GO and live what Jesus had just FREELY given him. Jesus was fully aware of the mans sins and imperfections and He was setting him free and telling him not to squander his freedom or something worse would happen. It reminded me of a Scripture in
Romans 6:15
What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!
We should have the fear of the Lord but the fear of the Lord is not the same as FEAR. It is a reverence, awe, and respect not a trembling terror of dispair. When we read Scripture we must look at through the lens of God's character throughout His word as a whole and not pick out Scriptures or we won't see what He is trying to say!
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