Victim Mentality

For the past couple of days I have been thinking about what it means to have a "victim mentality." Maybe you think you've never had one but I can assure you that you are mistaken. It's that...

Nobody cares about how I feel!
I always get left out!
I am always the one having to do everything!

I am always the one that ____________. You can feel in the blank. I have heard so many people call themselves a black sheep. A black sheep in their family, their church, their circle of friends. We have all fallen to the victim mentality. Oh, I felt it strong today. At 1,000 different ends I was "rejected," or at least I felt so, whether the people intended it or not. I stopped to think WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Is it okay to feel sorry for ourselves when we are clearly wronged??? No, it is not. It is not okay. We need to wipe it off, let it go, ask Jesus to fill the wound, and move on. Today I wanted to be three years old and tell quite a few people how they needed to value what I say and what I feel, consider my time and my own life stresses, appreciate my friendship, love me as I am, make time for me, not cut me off when I am speaking, e-mail me back so I don't feel like a loser, etc. I wanted to pitch a fit and on the inside I did. Then, I realized something...it is the enemy who wants us all to have a defeated, victim mentality. This forgotten, rejected, stabbed in the back, sinned against feeling...all the time, by someone. Sadly you will see many Christians who live in this place. They can't over what Sally in 9th grade said about them in the bathroom, or their deceased parent's neglect of them growing up. I am not saying these things don't hurt, trust me, they do: I've experienced quite a few wounds myself, but it's what we do with them that counts right?

I think the easy Christian answer is to forgive and let go but it's not so easy is it? Many of us can do the forgiving part, but let it go? That's easier said than done. We want to protect our breakable hearts. That's why the minute someone does something as simple as forgets to respond to an e-mail, all the wounds burst forth in screeching agony, trying to resurface their way through our e-motions. It's reality that sometimes the way people love...well, it sucks. We all love with selfish motives sometimes because we are still in process and only God's love is agape. The only thing I have learned to do is turn to God and know that He is ALL of the things that no human could ever be for you. Then, humbly ask him to help you to let it all go and love others even with their despicable--to really see an aching heart lying in them, JUST like your own.

I'll leave you with this quote:

"Love for neighbor is love for him in all his strange, irritating, distinct createdness. Love is eternal, leveling righteousness, because it justifies no man according to his desire. Love edifies the fellowship because it seeks fellowship only. Love expects nothing, because it has already reached the goal." Karl Barth